Hiatus

Regular readers have probably already figured this out, but here's the post that makes it official.

I'm stepping away from this blog for a while, for a number of reasons. They include:
- This takes a lot of time to maintain, and I don't really have it right now.
- I never made a red cent off of blogging, so there's no $$$ incentive for it to linger.
- Writing about hockey feels like a job, and I already have one of those.

They do NOT include:
- Me falling off the Bruins bandwagon... I'm a lifetime member!
- Dissatisfaction with the blog itself, or the response I've had from many great folks in the hockey community.
- Any kind of decision not to return in the future.

For now the site will sit static, for the sake of keeping the archives open to anyone who stumbles across them. The "Star Wars" preview from May is still getting regular traffic, which is kinda cool. If you want to get in touch, simply reply to this post and there's a good chance the notification system will still be able to reach me.

Happy trails, everyone, and thanks for your support over the past couple of years.

Derek Morris through five games

As the Bruins close out their rare season-opening homestand with a meek 2-3 record, this week is sure to be rife with speculation and contrived finger-pointing. What better time to check in on that $3.3 million investment in Derek Morris... you know, the one that prevented the Kessel negotiations from getting off the ground...

Time on ice
Time on ice per game: 23:10, second behind Chara
PP time on ice per game: 5:06, second behind Savard
SH time on ice per game: 2:52, third behind Chara and Wideman

Clearly, Morris has had ample opportunity to make an impact on the ice. He has been paired mostly with Chara, arguably the best defensive partner in the league.

Offensive production
Goals: None.
Assists: 2. Both of Morris' assists were secondary, both were on the power play, and both were scored in the 7-2 rout of struggling Carolina.
Shots: 4. All shots came from a distance of at least 48 feet.

Defense
Hits: 7. This puts him in a tie for 129th leaguewide, along with guys like Saku Koivu and Alex Kovalev.
Plus/Minus: A team-worst -4. He's also -1 on special teams, though these numbers don't count in his official +/-.

Discipline
PIM: 8. Two minors and a double-minor. It was Morris' slashing penalty that led to Colorado's tie-breaking goal.
Giveaways: 3, tied for most on the team.
Takeaways: 1.

Salary
$3.3 million per season, in case you forgot.

Of course there are a lot of Bruins whose numbers look bad right now, but Morris has clearly not had a smooth landing in Boston. If he can't turn it around, this contract could end up being an albatross for Peter Chiarelli.

As long as we're throwing money around...

How about a major contract extension for Shawn Thornton?

Shots taken in 2009-10
Bruins: 92
Thornton: 11
Krejci: 7
Lucic: 2

Goals scored in 2009-10
Bruins: 9
Thornton: 1
Krejci: 0
Lucic: 0

What's wrong with Tim Thomas?

Absolutely nothing, that's what.

The media are already beginning to pick up on the too-easy storyline that Thomas is stumbling in the face of his Vezina trophy and bloated contract. He didn't look great in an opening-night loss to Washington, and was lit up for 6 goals last night against the Ducks. Clearly, they conclude, he's due for a letdown season.

This happens with pretty much every goalie who achieves some measure of success, and in some cases (*cough*Theodore*cough*) the scrutiny is warranted. But in this case the lens should be focussed on a soft, passive defensive corps which seems to miss the grit and tenacity of Aaron Ward and Shane Hnidy.

What matters most for Boston is that Thomas is still playing like a man desperate to extend his NHL career. He made big saves against Anaheim while the game was still a close contest. He became more active handling the puck when it was clear his teammates couldn't handle the Ducks' aggressive forecheck.

Saturday night we should expect wunderkind Tuukka Rask to face the Islanders, marking his first appearance as full-time backup. If he plays well, the media are going to declare a "goalie controversy". But our attention should instead be squarely on Matt Hunwick, who really will be playing to convice Claude Julien of his worth. If Hunwick continues to be bullied by opposing forwards, look for Julien to bench him in favor of the stouter Johnny Boychuck.

That change alone might solve Thomas' struggles.

On Tobacco Road

I'm now fully landed in the Triangle area of North Carolina, just down the bend from the home of those red-clad bastards who bounced the Bruins last April. Regular posting will resume soon.

Whatever happened to Brock Bradford?

Great find by Matt Porter:

Brock Bradford was drafted by the Bruins in the seventh round of the 2005 entry draft. After becoming Bruins property, he played at Boston College for four years where he peaked at 25 goals (in 37 games) as a senior. Hockeysfuture.com pegged him as a decent prospect with a probable future in the AHL.

If you've been wondering whatever happened to him, here's your answer.

Bruins could trade for Kovalchuk

[ed: Within moments of posting this, I came across Joe Haggerty's article for WEEI, also asserting that the Bruins should pursue Kovalchuk before the trade deadline.]

Following on yesterday's post, let's look at some plausible scenarios in which the Bruins might be in a position to make a major trade this season.

Each of these would require Peter Chiarelli to make two "setup" moves:
1) Buy out the contract of Patrice Bergeron, reducing his cap hit to $1.5m.
2) Replace him as third-line center with a youngster, such as Sobotka or Hammill, or acquire a veteran in the range of $1m.
The overall effect would be to end up with a cap cushion of roughly $4m.

Given the above, any of the following could be offered at the trade deadline:

To ATL for Ilya Kovalchuk ($6.3m)
Chuck Kobasew ($2.3m) OR Michael Ryder ($4.0m)
AND first-round picks in 2010, 2011 and 2012

To COL for Milan Hedjuk ($3.9m)
Brad Marchand ($821k) OR Byron Bitz ($687k)
AND Toronto's first-round pick in 2010

To TBL for Martin St. Louis ($5.25m)
D Adam McQuaid OR D Jeff Penner
AND First-round picks in 2010 and 2011, possibly return Tampa's second-round pick in 2010

In any of these scenarios, Boston would come out of the deal with a fast, scoring winger for the top line. In return, they would give up quality players and prospects -- but without creating a weak spot in the active roster or in the upcoming drafts or in the prospect pipeline. The loss of Bergeron would be relatively easy to cover, considering Boston's depth at the center position, and an elite winger would more than compensate for the loss of Ryder or Kobasew.

Bottom line: If Chiarelli can clear a bit of cap space, he can easily compete for free-agents-to-be without cutting deeply into the prospect pool. Given that the Bruins are going to be a top contender for the Cup, it would be crazy for him not to position himself for a major trade this season.

Bruins preparing to go all-in for 2010?

For most of last season the Bruins led the league in both offense and defense, were in first place, and enjoyed career seasons from most of the roster. The only remaining expectation was playoff success, which was cut short in bitter fashion when they couldn't generate offense consistently against Carolina.

The Bruins addressed their most glaring need -- becoming more mobile on the blue line -- early in the summer. Their only other major roster change was the loss of Phil Kessel, their leading goal-scorer. On paper, an elite sniper is the only missing ingredient holding them back from a Cup run.

Let's do a little math in the wake of the Kessel trade:

a) In the 2010 entry draft, the Bruins will now have two first-round picks (one coming from Toronto) and three second-round picks (one each from Toronto and Tampa). In the 2011 entry draft, Boston will again have an extra selection in the first round, from Toronto.

b) Currently the Bruins have $1.7 million in space under the cap.

c) At the end of the 2010 season, the Bruins will need to renew or release the contracts of six unrestricted free agents, including Marc Savard (currently a $5m cap hit) and Derek Morris ($3.3m). At the same time, the team will need to renegotiate the contracts of restricted free agents Tuukka Rask ($3.2m), Blake Wheeler ($2.8m), Mark Stuart ($1.3m), Milan Lucic ($850k), Vladimir Sobotka ($750k), Drew Larman ($550k).

d) The only players on the team who are signed beyond 2011 are David Krejci and Tim Thomas.

e) Two division rivals, Toronto and Montreal, are making dramatic changes to their lineup with the goal of competing for the Northeast Division title. One team is getting much bigger, the other much smaller -- chances are, one of them is taking a good approach to closing the gap with Boston.


Add it all up and we get:

f) If there was ever a season for Peter Chiarelli to make a major trade, it's right now. The iron is red-hot and the opportunity will be over as soon as next summer's tough contract decisions begin.


Loaded with high draft picks and NHL-ready prospects destined to spend most of the winter in Providence, Chiarelli has both the leverage and the incentive to make a high-stakes gamble on the Bruins' Cup chances. All he needs now is an opportunity.

Next post: Talking specifics -- who could be acquired, what it would cost, and whether it would be enough to end the Cup drought.

Chiarelli's a real bastard, isn't he?

Can you tell Peter Chiarelli used to be an agent?


On trading Aaron Ward to Carolina: "Frankly, I wouldn’t have traded him anywhere else but Carolina because that’s where his home is."
Aaron Ward's take: "I’m a little shocked. Obviously it’s my home, so it’s not a bad place to get traded to. But it wasn’t expected. I thought I was actually going to finish out my career in Boston."

On trading Phil Kessel to Toronto: "This trade was really about two things. One is a player who did not want to play in Boston."
Phil Kessel's take: "I never one time asked to be traded."


Chiarelli is almost political in his ability to send messages through the media. Play nice with Chia, and he'll go on record talking about how much the organization owes you. Play hardball, and you're going to be dragged through the evening news as a mean-spirited prick who deserved a trade to Siberia.

Of course, it the message is directed not at the media and not at the fans. The intended recipient is the players: those who are in the organization already, and those whom he plans to court in the future.

New Bruins Commercial

The bear pays another visit to the Garden, this time breaking into Cam Neely's office to scrounge around for a Winter Classic jersey. Watch it here.

Neely's expression at the end is reminiscient of "You wanna kick my dog while you're here???".

Is the backup goalie "controversy" manufactured?

I'm having a hard time swallowing the media-driven storyline that Tuukka Rask has competition for the backup goalie position.

Yeah, the Bruins went out and signed Danny Sabourin as a third option in goal. But does anyone seriously think that Sabourin, who has played all of one preseason game in a Boston uniform after being ditched by the Pens, is going to take away Rask's opportunity to break into the NHL as a regular contributor?

So far, the Bruins organization has so far invested the following in Rask:
- Andrew Raycroft
- Manny Fernandez
- Three years of careful development
- $9.6 million in salary

Rask is now 22 and in a contract year. He has made the most of his NHL audition so far, shutting out the Rangers last season and holding them to one goal in his lone start this preseason. He has the opportunity to play behind a 35-year-old Vezina winner on a defending conference championship team. Bruins GM Peter Chiarelli has effectively cleared a path for him to the backup position by choosing not to even negotiate an extension for Fernandez.

The plan is obvious: Rask plays the next 2-3 seasons as a 30-game backup, and gradually begins to compete with Thomas for playing time. By the end of Thomas' contract in 2013, Rask should be the nightly starting goalie.

All of this adds up to an obvious truth: The backup job is Rask's alone this season. Only in dire circumstances will Sabourin have a shot at playing in Boston.

On Hockey Eve...

No joke... the Bruins' season starts tonight. Here in the sunny Southland, it's 90 degrees and humid. The only place you're going to find ice is in your sweet tea. Nevertheless, the puck drops in four hours at Madison Square Garden, kicking off another pursuit of Lord Stanley.

Story time! In late September of 1997, the Bruins opened their preseason against Florida. The game was played in Charlotte, home of the Bruins' ECHL affiliate, in front of a crowd of a few thousand. I was 15 at the time, freshly enamored with the sport of hockey, and stood in awe of REAL NHL HOCKEY in my own hometown arena. The otherwise-meaningless exhibition carried one significant footnote: it was the first time that the world saw young phenoms Joe Thornton and Sergei Samsonov in a Bruins uniform.

In the 50-year-old Independence Arena, which was not built with professional hockey in mind, any fan could freely loiter around the locker room doors and talk to the players as they came in and out. One of my most cherished hockey memories is seeing Thornton and Samsonov, twin first-round picks who carried the weight of an Original Six franchise on their shoulders, marching purposefully down the thin rubber runway toward the ice. It was the beginning of a new era, and it happened in the most unlikely of times and places.

Of course, I wish that the Thornton Era hadn't left such a bitter aftertaste. But that moment of gravity impressed upon me that hockey is a game for all people, and can grow in even the most balmy climates... as long as the game becomes meaningful to those in attendance.

Winter Classic jersey revealed?

Ok, a couple of quick news tidbits:

- The official NHL Twitter feed published this photo of Tim Thomas being interviewed by Carrie Milbank [edit: Looks like the pic was taken down. It's been a bad week for Bettman. You can see the same photo here, as well as another glimpse here. Also, the Flyers officially unveiled their WC unis about half an hour ago.] Hmmmmm.... that's an interesting choice of threads for Timmy. Is this a sneak preview of the retro jersey the Bruins will wear at Fenway?

Uni fanatics will note that this is a slightly-altered version of the sweaters the Bruins wore from 1959 through 1967, Bobby Orr's rookie season. Interesting to see the anachronistic ties at the neck, and the use of a scripted logo similar to the one used in 1948-49. The Flyers also have the option to use a uniform from 1967, which would seem the logical choice.

- I'm going to call off the final round of this year's Hockey Hell series (the goalies). I'm in the middle of changing jobs and cities, and realistically I'm not going to put in the time to make that last entry happen. Let's salute this year's winners (read: losers) with whatever finger you deem most appropriate:

C Bobby Clarke
LW Jarkko Ruutu
RW Marty McSorley
D Bryan Marchment, Chris Pronger

A slight delay

There are, literally, several readers who are wondering why I haven't posted an update to the Hockey Hell series yet.

There will be a slight delay on the final entry -- I'm currently in the Raleigh area, scouting out places to live. That's right, I'm moving out of Preds territory and into the eye of the Hurricane!

This will, of course, put me in a much different position in regards to Bruins fandom. Two Bruins games at the RBC Center per year, a close-up view of former B's Aaron Ward and Stephane Yelle, and frequent bitter memories of last April... should make for an interesting relationship with my new "home" team.

I'll get back to Hockey Hell sometime next week. Sorry for the delay, y'all.

Hockey Hell Voting: The Defensemen

The Right Wing voting wasn't much of a competition, with Marty McSorley walking to an easy victory with over 82% of the vote. The Hockey Hell series rolls on, with this week posing perhaps the greatest challenge. This week you are to pick two (2) of the four no-goodniks below. It's not as easy of a challenge as it appears -- your choices will probably depend on your definition of "dirty" and whether you happen to be a Flyers or Devils fan.

If you're wondering what this series is all about, click here.

If you're wondering where Ulf Samuelsson is on this list, click here.

Bryan Marchment, 9 teams

- Notorious for taking players out at the knees, especially with knee-to-knee hits against more agile players.

- In his first 12 NHL seasons, he was suspended 13 times.

- A conservative list of stars whose careers were impacted by Marchment's cheapshots would include: Greg Adams, Glenn Anderson, Pavel Bure, Wendel Clark, Kevin Dineen, Mike Gartner, Paul Kariya, Mike Modano, Joe Nieuwendyk, Martin Rucinsky, Doug Weight, and Peter Zezel.

- He had a long-running feud with Mike Gartner, one of the league's classier players, which began in 1985 when he punctured Garnter's lung with a cheap hit.

Among his memorable cheapshots:

- Elbow on Mike Modano.

- Knee-on-knee with Nieuwendyk. (the Stars organization hates Marchment)

- Suspended 3 games for spearing Paul Kariya.

- Suspended 6 games for concussing Carolina's Shane Willis with an elbow.

- Hit Florida's Byron Ritchie from behind, shattering his collarbone and injuring him for an entire season.

- Elbow on Jamal Mayers.

- Boarding on Phillippe Bozon.

- Kneeing Doug Gilmour.

- Spearing Ron Sutter.

- Part of an epic brawl against Wendel Clark as detailed by Down Goes Brown.

- Even Pavel Bure hates him.

- In addition to being a cheapshot artist of the first class, he also agitated retaliation penalties.

- Proved too much of a headcase for Mike Keenan.

- Called Donald Brashear a "big monkey", then threatened to sue the league if it didn't establish clearer guidelines on racist speech, forcing the NHL to hire a full-time "sensitivity trainer".

- Like Chris Pronger below, Marchment never really acknowledged the severity of his actions. Instead he chose to blame the rest of the league for "unfairly" judging him, and frequently blamed his penchant for knee-to-knee hits on "instinct" instead of conscious choice.

- Ironically, he retired after blowing out his knee in a collision with Toronto's Jason Allison.

Chris Pronger, Whalers/Blues/Oilers/Ducks/Flyers

- As a rookie, Pronger was involved in a barroom brawl and was arrested for drunk driving.

- Early in his career, he was lambasted for immaturity and a lack of focus in the playoffs.

- It would be impossible in this format to catalogue his thousands of high hits, elbows, and other cheapshots. Youtube just doesn't have that kind of bandwidth.

- Demanded a trade out of Edmonton; it was later revealed that his wife, Lauren, didn't like the city. His trade to Anaheim conjured painful memories of the Gretzky trade, leaving an entire fanbase insulted and bitter.

- Was suspended in both the Conference Final and the Stanley Cup Final in 2007, for elbowing Tomas Holmstrom and Dean McAmmond, respectively.

- This clip speaks for itself.

- Most notorious moment: his skate-stomp on Ryan Kesler, which drew an 8-game suspension.

- Laid a vicious and unnecessary elbow on budding Devils star Zach Parise.

- Another elbow away from the play, this one on budding Red Wings star Pavel Datsyuk. See the pattern?

- Rather than take responsibility for his obvious lack of respect for other players' safety, Pronger has consistently argued that he is simply too tall to play a clean game. Of course, this has never been a problem for tall guys like Larry Robinson and Zdeno Chara, lending Pronger an additional reputation as an excuse-maker.

- Bleacherreport.com lists Pronger as the third-most hated player in the league (behind Avery and Crosby), calling him "quite easily the dirtiest player in the entire league".

- SI ranks him as the #1 dirtiest player in the league today.

- For the love of god, he just signed with the Flyers.

Scott Stevens, Devils/Blues/Captials

- His nickname, "Mr. Devil", says it all.

- As a rookie he was suspended for "biting and scratching" during a fight.

- At about the same time, he was named in a rape scandal which also involved Dino Ciccarelli.

- Suspended for his prominent role in the St. Patrick's Day Massacre brawl -- in which he fought none other than Dave Manson. No eye-gouging this time.

- Stevens' early career was defined by his knack for disrupting an entire franchise. His bloated contract with St. Louis, which cost them five first-round picks as compensation to Washington, contributed to the inflation of salaries leaguewide.

- When the Blues also poached Brendan Shanahan, they were forced by arbitration to send Stevens to New Jersey. Stevens refused to report, and the Devils locker room nearly fell apart in the ensuing power struggle. Three years later, he signed another enormous offer sheet with St. Louis, and was at the center of a tampering scandal which cost them $1.5 million and two first-round picks... and the Devils kept Stevens anyway.

- Stevens' bloated contract sheets with St. Louis were a factor in the labor issues which led to the 1995 lockout. Ironically, his Devils team took advantage of the shortened season to win a Stanley Cup.

- In that year's Finals, Stevens made his mark as a nightmarish open-ice hitter with a devastating, concussion-inducing run on Slava Kozlov.

- In the 2000 playoffs, he re-established the Devils' physical reputation by concussing Philadelphia's Daymond Langkow.

- Five games later, he sent Eric Lindros' career into a death-spiral with yet another open-ice hit to the head. It occurred on practically the same patch of ice as the Langkow hit.

- With less than 20 seconds left in a playoff game, Stevens crossed the ice to TKO Carolina's Shane Willis, leading to accusations that he was intentionally running players in order to injure them.

- In the very next game, Stevens pulverized Hall of Famer Ron Francis, leaving his victim to crawl noodle-legged back to the bench.

- Perhaps his most frightening hit was on Paul Kariya in the 2003 Finals. Once again, Stevens waited until a star player's attention was diverted at the blue line, and launched a headshot that knocked Kariya out cold.

- In 2001, The Sporting News ranked him the fifth-most feared player in NHL history.

Gary Suter, Flames/Blackhawks/Sharks

- Suter barely even qualified to play in the NHL, having been passed over in two drafts and then finally selected in the 9th round in 1984. At the time, he was lugging cases of beer for a living.

- Modeled himself after Chris Chelios, which says quite a lot about his aspirations.

- Was the league's most notorious "headhunter" for most of his career, establishing a reputation specifically for crosschecking opponents in the head.

- The most egregious example of this was his sickening crosscheck on Paul Kariya in 1998. This kept Kariya out of that year's Olympics and, some say, signalled the end of his time as a superstar.

- Just in case you thought the Kariya incident was isolated, here he is crosschecking Adam Deadmarsh in the head. Deadmarsh retired due to recurrent concussions.

- In the 1987 Canada Cup, he laid a vicious two-handed chop to the face of Andrei Lomakin.

- Hit Wayne Gretzky from behind during the Canada Cup championship in 1991, sidelining the Great One for the rest of the tournament. The ensuing back spasms eventually led to the decline and end of Gretzky's career.

- Later in the tournament, he committed the key turnover to end a USA rally against Canada and caused the Americans to be eliminated.

- He was responsible for the ACL injury which altered Pavel Bure's career and slowed down one of the NHL's most entertaining players.

- His general lack of respect for other players was evident even in situations in which he got off scot-free.

- At least one site calls him "the dirtiest player to play for Calgary, one of the dirtiest players ever to play in the NHL, and quite possibly the dirtiest player to ever lace the skates up for Team USA."

Hockey Hell Voting: The RWs

Congrats (?) to Jarkko Ruutu, who won the LW voting in a landslide due to some collaborative effort by Leafs Nation. We move on to the Right Wing position, where things aren't going to get any easier. If you're not familiar with the Hockey Hell series, click here for an explanation.

Matthew Barnaby (7 teams)

Nickname = "Barney". Ugh.

Perhaps the most annoying trash-talker in league history. Notorious for provoking fights and refusing to drop the gloves, in order to draw a power play.

Played with total lack of respect for any opponent.

Ambushed Flyers goalie Garth Snow after faking an injury.

Promised to cheapshot Dominik Hasek during training camp, as retaliation for Hasek's feud with former coach Ted Nolan.

Called Lyle Odelein "Cornelius" in the press, insinuating that Odelein looks like an ape.

Demanded a trade out of Buffalo, then changed his mind, then changed his mind again and was finally traded.

Set off a mini-controversy after making "obscene gestures" to the crowd in Philly.

Scuffled with Islanders defenseman Eric Cairns in an off-ice corridor, earning a suspension.

During that incident, called a nearby TV cameraman a "Puerto Rican bitch".

Engaged in a bizarre series of semi-serious off-ice fights with teammate Rob Ray.

Became an ESPN analyst, following in the footsteps of widely-respected NHL figures such as Mike Milbury and Barry Melrose.

Jesse Boulerice Flyers/Hurricanes/Blues/Oilers

He was drafted by the Flyers, of course.

His NHL career was relatively brief, at only 172 games, due to his lack of genuine skill and talent. His career high in scoring was 6 goals in a full season with Carolina.

Charged with assault in juniors for clubbing Andrew Long in the head.

TKO'ed by Aaron Downey in perhaps the most-viewed hockey clip ever.

Received the second-longest suspension in history (see below) for cross-checking Ryan Kesler in the face.

Was waived twice in two weeks.

Marty McSorley (6 teams)

Appeared in the movie Forget Paris and the TV show CSI: Miami. That's two strikes.

Was a pure goon, never breaking 15 goals despite playing with the high-flying Oilers and Gretzky-era Kings.

Made his reputation as "Wayne Gretzky's bodyguard" in Edmonton and Los Angeles. This ushered in an era of goon specialists, which eventually led to the instigator penalty.

His two-handed chop to Donald Brashear's head remains one of the worst stick fouls in the history of the sport. His one-year suspension was the longest ever.

In the fallout of the Brashear incident, McSorley became one of the few professional athletes to be charged with an on-field crime. He served 18 months probation for assault with a weapon.

His entry into European hockey, after being blackballed from the NHL, was blocked by the IIHF (which is not known for heavy-handedness in such matters).

With the most boneheaded illegal-stick penalty in history, he destroyed the Kings' only shot at a Stanley Cup to date.

Was "mysteriously" fired without explanation from the Sharks broadcast team, in the middle of a playoff series.

Prototypical "hockey hair".

Received a 10-game suspension in the AHL for a stick attack on Joel Baillargeon. The Oilers called him up immediately and he never served a single game.

Suspended 3 games for spearing Calgary's Mike Bullard late in a playoff game.

Suspended 6 days for crosschecking Boston's Darren Banks in the forehead during a timeout.

Suspended four games for eye-gouging Bob Errey.

Hockey Hell Voting: The Left Wings

Congrats are in order to Bobby Clarke, who won a landslide election into Hockey Hell this week. Dale Hunter put up a respectable showing in second place, and Ken Linseman finished a distant third. With that, we move on to the Left Wing position, and the four candidates listed below.

Be sure to take a good look at each candidate as this is an especially competitve category. If nothing else, click the hyperlinks which almost all point toward a Youtube vid or archived news article worth seeing. Click here for an explanation of the Hockey Hell series. Voting for the LW position ends next Friday!

Tie Domi, Toronto Maple Leafs/New York Rangers

- An impressive set of records: Third-highest PIM total in league history... Leads the Maple Leafs in career PIMs... Broke Tiger Williams' record for most PIMs in a season by a Leaf.

- Once arrived to the rink halfway through a game, having stayed at his hotel to voice his displeasure at being benched.

- Sucker-punched Ulf Samuelsson. (This might actually count as a positive.)

- The infamous fan-in-the-box fight.

- Egregiously cheapshotted Scott Niedermayer, knocking him out cold with an elbow to the head during the '01 playoffs. Instead of apologizing, he sought sympathy in a blubbering press conference.

- Played two exhibition games as a placekicker for the Toronto Argonauts in the CFL -- the lamest imaginable sport-to-sport crossover.

- Has a brother named Dash, who was once involved in some seedy government dealings. Tie and Dash Domi... really. What is this, an episode of Pokemon?

- Suspended for 6 games for an AHL pregame fight.

- Was involved in this ugly incident in 1999, a rare but shameful example of Domi letting his teammates fight his battles.

- Inconceivably, he racked up 42 PIM while dressing in only two games in 1989.

- In 1997-98, he scored only 4 goals while racking up a breathtaking 365 PIM. He scored roughly one goal for every 7 fights.

- Dragged his wife and three children through a nasty public divorce after being caught in an affair with MP Belinda Stronach. His estranged wife stated that his influence over the children has been "disasterous".

- Threatened with banishment from his 11-year-old son's hockey league after verbally abusing the coach. The situation escalated to the point that Domi threatened to sue the coach in retaliation.

Jarkko Ruutu, Vancouver Canucks/Pittsburgh Penguins/Ottawa Senators

- Bit Andrew Peters on the thumb during a fight, then denied it, then claimed that it was Peters' fault for sticking his fingers in Ruutu's mouth.

- Was on the receiving end of Chris Simon's notorious skate-stomp. And he probably deserved it.

- Finished 3rd in an SI poll to determine the league's dirtiest players -- only a point behind Chris Pronger and Steve Ott.

- A notorious diver, who usually agitates another player and then hits the deck on first contact

- Despite a memorable performance on the scoresheet, his diving during the IIHF championships was the subject of international mockery.

- Hey look, another video of him diving!

- Also a notorious chatterbox, in the mold of fellow Finn Esa Tikkanen.

- Another speciality -- injuring star players with dirty hits along the boards.

- Has committed as many ridiculous acts of violence in international competition as he has in the NHL.

- Picks his spots when fighting. For example, he jumped an injured Milan Lucic at the end of a long shift, and got a set of bruised ribs for his trouble.

- Was responsible for one of the funniest hockey clips ever.

Dave Schultz, Philadelphia Flyers/Los Angeles Kings/Pittsburgh Penguins/Buffalo Sabres

- Nicknamed "The Hammer".

- Was the most violent member of the Broad Street Bullies teams in Philadelphia, pairing with Bobby Clarke and Dave Williams to round out the dirtiest lineup of all time.

- Enabled Clarke's cheapshottery by providing cover for him when enforcers came calling. Common wisdom has it that Clarke was only able to survive his playing career because of Schultz's presence during line brawls.

- Brought a back-alley style of fighting to the ice. Schultz frequently pulled hair, gouged eyes, bit, scratched and otherwise maimed opponents.

- Nearly broke the unthinkable 500-PIM barrier, setting a league record with 472 in 1974-75.

- Originated the "Schultz Rule", which bans boxing wraps on the wrists of players who fight.

- Nearly sparked a melee at Nassau Coliseum in 1974, headbutting the Islanders' Gary Howatt along the glass and then reaching over to provoke an unruly NY crowd.

- In Game 7 of the 1974 semi-finals, Schultz jumped Rangers defenseman Dale Rolfe and pounded him mercilessly, pulling his hair and punching him repeatedly with little opposition. Rolfe registered all of 56 PIM that season, to Schultz's 348. The Flyers won the game and the series.

- In 1975, he recorded the song "Penalty Box".

- Despite a solitary 20-goal season, Schultz brought little hockey skill to the table. He bounced around the league as a role player in the late 70s and early 80s, never playing two full seasons for the same team. He washed out of the league in 1980, ignominiously retiring in the AHL.

- Bit Leafs enforcer Kurt Walker on the nose.

- Sucker-punched Vancouver rookie John Vanboxmer, knocking him out cold...

- ... and then signed photos of the incident...

- ... even though he was schooled by Hall of Famer Larry Robinson only moments later.

- On his own website, the only clips from his playing days are of brutal fights including the Rolfe mugging.

- Stars in one of the league's most notoriously violent photographs.

Darcy Tucker, Montreal Canadiens/Tampa Bay Lightning/Toronto Maple Leafs/Colorado Avalanche

- Toronto media nickname = Sideshow Bob

- A notorious diver and whiner.

- Took out Michael Peca's knees.

- Took out Nick Schultz's knees.

- Took out Jochen Hecht's knees. Are you sensing a pattern?

- Who could forget his kamizake attack on the Senators' bench?

- Brother-in-law to Shayne Corson, who is no stranger to the suspension list.

- Pounded by Jarkko Ruutu in one of the all-time great d-bag showdowns.

- Mugged, and then mocked, Patrick Eaves who had never dropped the gloves before... after the latter laid him out on a clean check.

- No. 7 on bleacherreport.com's list of all-time NHL villains, ahead of Todd Bertuzzi and Bobby Clarke.

- Got laid out by Alex Kovalev, of all people.

- Got roughed up by Mr. McGoo.

- Frequently refuses to answer the bell when challenged to a fight. Never was this more evident than when he repeatedly dodged Chris Neil of the Sens.

- He was both a Hab and a Leaf.

Video: Jordan Caron gets destroyed by Colton Teubert

Vid has finally surfaced of the monster hit that broke the clavicle of Boston's first-round pick. The executioner is Colton Teubert, a Kings prospect who was picked 13th overall last year.

Put in a mouthguard before you watch this, otherwise the seismic wave will give you a concussion.




Hopefully Caron will have learned his lesson. This is why NHL players don't look at their laces when crossing the blue line.

HCTB enters the Twitter-sphere

"Follow me!", says the creepy little bird.

In my ever-continuing quest to sit at the cool kids' lunch table, I am launching a new Twitter account for this blog: http://twitter.com/bostonblueline. This is going to be used primarily to announce new posts, but also to submit real-time reactions on the Bruins, the NHL, and anything else relevant to hockey fans. If you only want to hear my ramblings in 140-character increments, this is right down your alley!

Please note that this is NOT my personal Twitter and I have no intention of telling you what I'm eating for breakfast. Sorry, ladies.

Hockey Hell voting: The Centers

Ok folks, time to get this thing started. This week we will take a look at 3 of the most unholy men ever to patrol NHL ice at the center position. Take a few moments to read over their list of qualifications, and cast your vote in the poll to the right. Voting will be open until next Friday.

If you're wondering what this is about, go to this post for an explanation of the rules.

"If you can't be good, at least be good at being bad."

Bobby Clarke, Philadelphia Flyers



Accomplishments:

- Was the captain and embodiment of the Broad Street Bullies mystique, leading a parade of brawlers which set the NHL's image back 50 years.

- Most famous play: sparking an international incident with a shameful slash to the ankle of Russian star Valeri Kharlamov in the '72 Summit Series.

- Only days later, butt-ended Czechoslovak captain Frantisek Pospisil in what the New York Times called "what might be the dirtiest play ever captured on film".

- In an NHL-USSR exhibition in 1976, Clarke contributed to an embarrassing display of goonery that led to the Soviet team abandoning the ice in protest.

- Canadian hockey hero (and Summit Series teammate) Paul Henderson once said to a reporter that dirty play was Clarke's "trademark".

- Fourth all-time in PIM for the Flyers, which is saying something.

- Once described his Flyers as "20 guys without brains".

- One of the longest-tenured GMs not to win a Cup -- only Bob Pulford has a worse record.

- Made perhaps the most damaging trade in NHL history, acquiring Eric Lindros in exchange for numerous players who would become the centerpiece of two Cup runs in Colorado. What's more, the arbitrator who awarded Lindros to the Flyers was the granduncle of none other than Todd Bertuzzi. Birds of a feather...

- Defended a medical staff that advised Lindros to board a plane instead of receiving treatment for a collapsed lung. If Clarke had had his way, Lindros probably would have died.

- Generally credited with causing Lindros to devolve from "The Next One" into a fuzzy-brained fourth liner.

- As GM of the '98 Olympic team, he tapped utility winger Rob Zamuner but passed on national legend Mark Messier.

- In that same year, he passed over veterans such as Gretzky, Yzerman and Bourque for the captain's "C"... instead giving the honor to his pet project with the Flyers, young Eric Lindros.

- Replaced Roger Nielson as coach... while Nielson was on a leave of absence for cancer treatments. Was quoted as saying, "We didn't tell him to go get cancer... he went goofy on us."

- Burned through 6 coaches in 5 seasons, blaming each for the Flyers' playoff failures.

- Gave Derian Hatcher a job, even after the rest of the NHL had wised up.

- Rated by Askmen.com as the 4th worst GM of all time... in any sport.

- Recently called the renaissance of hockey in Pittsburgh, Washington and Chicago "embarrassing" for the league.

Dale Hunter, Washington Capitals/Quebec Nordiques

Accomplishments:

- Nickname: "La Petite Peste".

- Holds the league record for playoff PIM, and is second in regular season history. Taking both numbers together, he finished a mere 127 PIM behind Tiger Williams for the all-time title.

- Holds the franchise PIM record in both Washington and Colorado.

- Holds the record for playoff games without winning a Cup.

- But his most famous record of all: After committing one of the most egregious cheapshots in league history, Hunter received a precedent-setting 21-game ban from newly-minted commissioner Gary Bettman. The replay is still a Youtube favorite for all the wrong reasons.

- Known around the league as a butcher with his stick.

- Played a key role in the infamous Good Friday Brawl between Montreal and Quebec. Near the 7:00 mark of the video, you can see him pounding on his own brother.

- Then there's this.

- To acquire Sakic from Quebec, Washington traded away the draft pick that would become Joe Sakic.

- Of all career 1000-point scorers, Hunter took the longest to accomplish the feat.

- When the Caps retired his number in 2000, they presented him with a symbol of his accomplishments -- a penalty box from the old Capital Center.

- As a coach, Hunter was fined or suspended by the CHL a total of 4 times during a single span of 12 months.

- During that period, he was also arrested for DUI. The charges were dismissed on a technicality.



Ken Linseman, Bruins/Flyers/Oilers/Leafs


Accomplishments:

- One of the great nicknames in hockey: "The Rat". Bobby Clarke coined it.

- Wore #13.

- Played for both the Flyers AND the Bruins.

- Probably the first "super pest" to be recognized as such.

- Charged and convicted of assault for kicking a player in the forehead with his skate during junior-league play.

- Later, he was fined $200 for attempting to kick Montreal's Robert Picard during a scuffle. Yes, that's two kicking incidents in the same career. Eat your heart out, Chris Simon!

- Before going pro, he engaged in a high-stakes legal squabble with the WHA. The battle ended when his family filed a restraining order against the league, allowing him to play. This was the grounds for the WHA's raiding of under-20 players such as Gretzky, Messier and Gartner, an unprecedented blow to the NHL's talent pool.

- Called the Lady Byng trophy an "embarrassment".

- Particularly well known for running his mouth nonstop at opponents, but only occasionally dropping the gloves to back it up.

- Traded twice in one day.

- Fought Dean Kennedy under the stands at the Edmonton Coliseum. Kennedy required stitches because Linseman used his stick during the fight, and slammed Kennedy's head onto the concrete floor.

- Bit the the Oilers' Lee Fogolin in the face. Fogolin required a tetanus shot.

- No need to go into detail about what happened here.

- Yet another player known for his liberal use of the stick.


- Scored 3 series-clinching goals in 1984 alone, including the Cup-winner, making him the Claude Lemieux of his time.