Friday, August 21, 2009

Hockey Hell Voting: The RWs

Congrats (?) to Jarkko Ruutu, who won the LW voting in a landslide due to some collaborative effort by Leafs Nation. We move on to the Right Wing position, where things aren't going to get any easier. If you're not familiar with the Hockey Hell series, click here for an explanation.

Matthew Barnaby (7 teams)

Nickname = "Barney". Ugh.

Played with total lack of respect for any opponent.

Ambushed Flyers goalie Garth Snow after faking an injury.

Promised to cheapshot Dominik Hasek during training camp, as retaliation for Hasek's feud with former coach Ted Nolan.

Demanded a trade out of Buffalo, then changed his mind, then changed his mind again and was finally traded.

Set off a mini-controversy after making "obscene gestures" to the crowd in Philly.

During that incident, called a nearby TV cameraman a "Puerto Rican bitch".

Engaged in a bizarre series of semi-serious off-ice fights with teammate Rob Ray.
Became an ESPN analyst, following in the footsteps of widely-respected NHL figures such as Mike Milbury and Barry Melrose.

Jesse Boulerice Flyers/Hurricanes/Blues/Oilers

He was drafted by the Flyers, of course.

His NHL career was relatively brief, at only 172 games, due to his lack of genuine skill and talent. His career high in scoring was 6 goals in a full season with Carolina.
Charged with assault in juniors for clubbing Andrew Long in the head.

TKO'ed by Aaron Downey in perhaps the most-viewed hockey clip ever.

Received the second-longest suspension in history (see below) for cross-checking Ryan Kesler in the face.
Was waived twice in two weeks.

Marty McSorley (6 teams)

Appeared in the movie Forget Paris and the TV show CSI: Miami. That's two strikes.

Was a pure goon, never breaking 15 goals despite playing with the high-flying Oilers and Gretzky-era Kings.

Made his reputation as "Wayne Gretzky's bodyguard" in Edmonton and Los Angeles. This ushered in an era of goon specialists, which eventually led to the instigator penalty.

His two-handed chop to Donald Brashear's head remains one of the worst stick fouls in the history of the sport. His one-year suspension was the longest ever.

In the fallout of the Brashear incident, McSorley became one of the few professional athletes to be charged with an on-field crime. He served 18 months probation for assault with a weapon.

His entry into European hockey, after being blackballed from the NHL, was blocked by the IIHF (which is not known for heavy-handedness in such matters).

With the most boneheaded illegal-stick penalty in history, he destroyed the Kings' only shot at a Stanley Cup to date.

Was "mysteriously" fired without explanation from the Sharks broadcast team, in the middle of a playoff series.

Prototypical "hockey hair".

Received a 10-game suspension in the AHL for a stick attack on Joel Baillargeon. The Oilers called him up immediately and he never served a single game.

Suspended 3 games for spearing Calgary's Mike Bullard late in a playoff game.

Suspended 6 days for crosschecking Boston's Darren Banks in the forehead during a timeout.

Suspended four games for eye-gouging Bob Errey.

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1 comment:

CLS said...

I think you undersold Boulerice's supreme douche presence, but McSorley's still the champion.

Great feature, BTW.