A John Buccigross masterpiece

Check out J.B.'s love-letter to Game 7 on espn.com.

Game 7 equals...

Cinnamon French toast and a side of home fries. Served by Megan Fox. In a Winnipeg Jets sweater.

A 9-year-old boy with his hat on backward shooting a flawless, roof-daddy wrist shot in his shorts on a warm June night at a tattered, rusty net. And, remember, Game 7 is not on a school night. Rejoice, Sparky.

The selfless soul of hockey, best defined by Bobby Orr's soul. If deity is selfless, thoughtful, humble and sensitive toward others, then we should be, too.


Yes. Nobody in the hockey world understands the soul of the game better than Bucci.


My contribution:

Game 7 equals a baby boy born in the season that everything seems to go right:

The Bruins run the table in first place and sweep the Habs...
60-goals becomes an achievable dream...
Cal Clutterbuck becomes a household name...
Tim Thomas finally gets his moment in the sun...
Sean Avery is kicked out of the league, and then let back in again...
The Winter Classic is at Wrigley, and Chicago is back as a hockey town...
The best goalie ever becomes the greatest goalie ever...
A team might move from south to north, for once...
The Richard Trophy winner is also top-10 in hits...
The Norris Trophy winner wears black and gold (pending)...
The Blues pull it off, against all odds...
Rick Nash makes it to the postseason...
Five of the Original Six teams make the playoffs, and the Leafs get a new lease on life...
Ryan Getzlaf arrives...
Sidney meets Alex in a 7th game...
Three of the top four scorers play in the Finals...
The two best teams in the league play all seven games for the Cup.

We win.

A Star Wars guide to the Stanley Cup Finals

***WARNING***

Nerdiness Levels In This Entry May Be Hazardous To Children And The Elderly.

Do not read if you are pregnant, on medication, or recovering from a WoW addiction.

Galactic Empire = Detroit

A fading empire, ruthless and hopelessly corrupt, concerned only with hoarding power and influence, yet unable to adjust when challenged by smaller, smarter opponents. And that's just GM.

Rebel Alliance = Pittsburgh

All great rebellions begin in the hinterlands, in places so desperate that lonesome farmboys turn to religion and violence as a relief from their boredom. Western Pennsylvania sounds about right.

Princess Leia = Stanley Cup

Ooh, purty! Losta guys are gonna fight over this little lady, and more than a few are going to sneak a kiss before it's all over. Careful boys, she's been for a few skates around the rink already...

Luke Skywalker = Sidney Crosby

The Messiah, the Anointed One, the whiny brat who thinks he's a great leader at age 20.

Darth Vader = Henrik Zetterberg

Don't fuck with this guy. He will own you.

Han Solo = Evgeni Malkin

He might not get all the publicity, but he's the guy you really wanted to be when you grew up. At the end of the day, you can thank this cool cat for blasting Vader's ass and gifting the Golden Child his moment of glory.

Admiral Ackbar = Dan Bylsma

We're never offered a good explanation for putting this guy in such a position of authority. His primary role is to stand by the sidelines and figure out a way to beat the trap.

The Emperor = Mike Babcock

Don't bother adjusting your matchups or changing your strategy. He's already foreseen your moves and countered them in advance. Now he's going to make you watch as he destroys your pitiful band of rebels.

Jabba the Hutt = Gary Bettman

"Soon, you will learn to appreciate me..."

C-3P0 = Pierre McGuire

Go away, nobody likes you.

Mike Milbury = Gamorrean Guard

He doesn't let his lack of intelligence or speaking ability get in the way of his duties. Best not to leave him in charge of anything really important, such as guarding a prisoner or running an NHL franchise.

Bib Fortuna = Mike Emrick

Spends most of his time avoiding criticism of the boss-man. Is anyone else distracted by the shape of his head?

Chewbacca = Hal Gill

Raaaawwwrrrrr!!!

Lando Calrissian = Bill Guerin

Bet you forgot this guy was alive, didn't ya? Instead of retiring quietly to obscurity, he's back for one last shot at redemption.

Boba Fett = Marian Hossa

The bounty hunter knows no allegiances.

Obi Wan Kenobi = Mario Lemieux

A legend in his own time, he now gazes from above and offers quiet words of wisdom to his protegee'.

R2-D2 = Chris Osgood

Somehow, you have a faint inkling that the story is really not about the Golden Boy at all, but about this little spare part who always seems to show up at the right moment and save the superstars' asses.

Darth Maul = Johan Franzen

As if the Empire needed this guy on top of everything else they've got going for them. It's not even fair.

The NBC broadcast team interviews Gary Bettman.

Porkins = Eric Godard

You knew as soon as you saw this guy that he wouldn't be around for long.

Touching the trophy: Does it make a difference?

This year's Eastern Conference Final series seemed short on controversy, what with the Pens taking Carolina to the woodshed in 4 straight games. No surprise, then, that the buzz from last night's game concerned something relatively trivial: Sidney Crosby's decision to pick up the Prince of Wales Trophy and carry it off the ice.

But is there any truth to the notion that the Wales and Campbell trophies carry bad mojo?


The superstition appears to have arisen in the mid-90s, so this analysis begins in 1994 -- the year before the Devils shocked a Red Wings team that had paraded the Campbell Trophy after their Western Conference victory. In a couple of seasons (1996 and 1999) I couldn't find clear evidence based on a film clip or still photo. If you know what happened in those seasons, speak up!


In the final analysis, the numbers are ambiguous. Only 7 of 28 Cup finalists have refused to touch their conference trophy (not counting years in which both refused), and those teams have gone 3-4 in the Finals round. Between 1995 and 2003, 7 consecutive Cup winners had touched the conference championship trophy after the previous round. However, the past 4 consecutive champions were non-touchers.


Here are the specifics (the hyperlinks provide visual evidence, asterisks denote the Cup winner):

2008
Pittsburgh (Crosby) - No
Detroit (Lidstrom) - No*

2007
Ottawa (Alfreddson) - Yes
Anaheim (Niedermayer) - No*

2006
Carolina (Brind'Amour) - No*
Edmonton (Smith) - No

2004
Tampa Bay (Andreychuk) - No*
Calgary (Iginla) - Yes

2003
Devils (Stevens) - Yes*
Mighty Ducks (Kariya) - No

2002
Hurricanes (Francis) - Yes
Red Wings (Yzerman) - Yes*

2001
Devils (Stevens) - Yes
Avalanche (Sakic) - Yes*

2000
Devils (Stevens) - Yes*
Stars (Hatcher) - No

1999
Sabres (Peca) - No
Stars (Hatcher) - ?*

1998
Capitals (Hunter) - Yes
Red Wings (Yzerman) - Yes*

1997
Flyers (Lindros) - No
Red Wings (Yzerman) - Yes*

1996
Panthers (Skrudland) - Yes
Avalanche (Sakic) - ?*

1995
Devils (Stevens) - Yes*
Red Wings (Yzerman) - Yes

1994
Rangers (Messier) - No*
Canucks (Linden) - Yes

It'll be interesting to see what Nicklas Lidstrom does if (when?) the Red Wings close out the Hawks tonight.

Bruins vs. Pens: Somehow, This Could End Up Being Lame

You would think this matchup would be one of those A-plus, scalper's wetdream, destiny-making games. The defending Eastern champ on a hot streak, the would-be Eastern champ recovering from a slump, both of them pissed about their recent play, one of them playing for a playoff seed and the other for the President's Trophy. Chara and Malkin. Sid and Savard. Tim Thomas and Sergei Gonchar. The stuff that hockey fans just friggin' love.

But it looks like there might be a little bit of rain at this picnic:

- The goalie matchup will in fact be Fernandez vs. Garon. I taste vomit in the back of my throat.
[edit: glove tap to BewareoftheBear at espn.com for pointing out that Tim Thomas is in fact the likely starter for Boston, at least according to the team website. Looks like Manny is now a true backup...]

- A weird 3:00 starting time... who is watching hockey at 3 in the afternoon?

- Both teams playing back-to-back nights, and both of them were disappointing yesterday. The Bruins narrowly beat the dead-last Isles, the Pens lost to the hopeless Sens in a shootout.

- Neither Raymond Bourque nor Mario Lemieux has announced plans to suit up for this game.

So in spite of the name-brand label, this one looks like a relative dud compared to next Sunday's matchup with the Devils.

Good news -- after this game, the Bruins play only 2 games in their next 12 days. That'll give them some time to breathe and relax before hitting the home stretch.