The 10 Worst Plays Of The Past 10 Years

Sometimes your team makes a play that transcends badness and breaches the realm of comedy. We've seen some real doozies this year -- Scott Hartnell's glove throw, Ryan O'Byrne's own-goal, Barry Melrose's coaching career. It got me thinking, and we all know what happens when I start thinking: a top-10 list.

10) Wideman shootout topple



I hate to throw Wides under the bus, but this was ridiculous. This is funnier than 90% of prime-time network sitcoms.

9) Toskala 175' goal



It's a minor miracle Toskala's reputation recovered (sort of) after this one; Dan Cloutier wasn't so lucky. To the best of my knowledge this is the longest goal in NHL history against a guarded net. The only reason it isn't higher on the list is because the puck did bounce a little on the way to the net, which can be challenging for a world-class goaltender. Especially when he has several seconds of advance warning to prepare himself.

8) Conklin's Finals nightmare



This one is exceptional because of its magnitude. The last minute of a tied Finals game is no time for tomfoolery behind the net. Conklin should have consulted Grant Fuhr re: staying the hell in the net during the playoffs.

7) O'Byrne shoots and scores



There were a lot of own-goals in consideration for this list, but most did not qualify for reasons of compassion. Everyone makes mistakes occasionally. For every 1,000 bouncing pucks in front of the net, one might be accidentally knocked in by a defenseman. For every 1,000 passes during a delayed penalty, one will squirt away and go dead-on into the empty net. It's understandable. But what distinguishes O'Byrne's play was that it was an intentional pass, not a mistake. It simply did not cross his mind that the goaltender might not be in a position to receive a blind pass at that very moment -- unfortunate, because Price was 40 feet away at the bench.

6) Hartnell glove throw



The inspiration behind this list. We will never know what was going through Scott Hartnell's mind at this moment. Did he think he was being clever? Did he think he was going to get away with it? Did it just smell that bad?

5) Kovalev Oscar clip



For many fans, this was the defining moment in Alexei Kovalev's career. Faking an injury is against the moral code of hockey. Faking it in the playoffs, at center ice, during an offensive rush, and floating around shaking your hand afterward, and screening your own backchecker out of the play because you're not paying attention to anything other than your own selfish need to have your boo-boo recognized, thus allowing the opponent to score, thus leading to a double-OT defeat... that's an affront to the Hockey Gods. Only the '04 Bruins could have failed to put away a team with that sort of 'leadership'.

4) Phaneuf drops the gloves, his ass



So many things went wrong on this play. First, Phaneuf manages to get leveled by the most annoying player in the Western Conference at the time. Then he misinterprets Ruutu's yapping as an overture to fight; Dion's gloves have barely touched the ice when Ruutu's butt touches the bench. Then, naturally, Phaneuf falls flat on his ass at the very moment that everyone in the hockey world is paying attention. But worst of all is the humiliation of having to pick up his gloves right in front of the Vancouver bench, one of which fell right in front of Ruutu. Imagine if Ruutu had been mike'd for THAT one. Finally, the refs really could've called him for unsportsmanlike conduct... if they wanted to really rub his nose in it.

3) Statue of Liberty



This was the precise moment when Patrick Roy's legacy began to fade. He had made a career and a legend out of his unique combination of arrogance and "money" play. So it was arresting to see him, with less than a minute to go in the first period of an elimination game against the arch-rival Wings, mindlessly waving his glove over his head as Brendan Shanahan scored the game-winner.

2) Patrik Stefan's career microcosm



Buckner. Webber. Norwood. Some players make a single mistake that overshadows an outstanding career. But Patrik Stefan didn't even have a track record to fall back on -- the biggest draft bust of the millenium also happened to play the starring role in what is arguably the worst play in the history of the sport.

"Grandad, can we watch a highlight of you back when you played in the NHL?"
"No."

1) Elisha Cuthbert



'Nuff said.

Bruins vs. Caps: Stuff To Look Out For

Tonight there is a marquee matchup in both conferences: Boston (#1) vs Washington (#3) in the East, and Detroit (#2) vs. Calgary (#4) in the West. One gets the sense that all of these teams will wake up tomorrow with a slightly different sense of self, depending on how these games go. Fans with access to the NHL Center Ice broadcasts will be able to watch the landscape changing before their very eyes -- what a great time to be a hockey fan.

Washington is happy to host this game, because they are far better at the Verizon Center (10-1-1) than anywhere else (5-9-2). I am always suspicious of teams that play a completely different game in one building than they do elsewhere. I am also suspicious of any team which is leading its division with the 6th-best record in the conference. The Caps are a talented team, to be sure -- but they're also one of the streakiest in the league.

Things to watch for tonight:

To make things uncomplicated, you can just stare at Alex Ovechkin the whole time. Chances are, all the interesting stuff will involve him anyway.

This game will feature two of the East's three best power-play units. The Bruins penalty-kill is slightly uncertain, pending news on whether Stephane Yelle plays tonight. If not, Julien is apparently considering Phil Kessel to be PK material these days (the most unlikeliest of turns), which should be a huge red flag to the Caps defensemen to keep an eye out for shorthanded rushes. Meanwhile, the Caps are missing power-play stalwarts Mike Green (6 ppg from the blue line) and Alex Semin (6 of 27 points on the PP), and former Selke winner Sergei Fedorov. Fedorov is one of those great two-way players whose absence will be felt in every part of the game.

The Caps have a slew of other injured players, frankly too many to list or try to keep track of. Suffice it to say: they are playing with about half their normal quality players. The Bruins are still waiting on good news from Marco Sturm or Aaron Ward, whose replacements (Nokelainen and Lashoff, respectively) have been more or less silent.

RUMOR ALERT: Semin apparently took part in a closed morning skate and was upgraded to a game-time decision. Bruce Boudreau is a smart coach and might bring Semin in for limited action in this key game.

The goaltending matchup is slated to be Manny Fernandez vs. Brent Johnson. Manny's start confirms that we are back to a 1A/1B rotation, an extremely impressive feat on his part and a testament to Julien's fairmindedness in handling the Bruins' goalie (non)controversy this season. Johnson is one of those guys who you know is good, who can beat you any night, but you just don't think about when someone asks you to name the top 30 goalies in the league.

TIDBIT: Fernandez' 7-game winning streak is the longest for a Boston goalie since.... wait for it.... Jon Casey. Half the Bruins couldn't even walk when Casey was a B-list starter for the Bruins.

Things got a little heated last season, when these teams were in fierce contention for a playoff berth. Both lost in the first round, but took a big step toward legitimacy in the process. Both are still using each other as measuring sticks, but now from the other end of the playoff bracket. Expect this one to be feisty and fast-paced, and to make some waves in the power rankings.

Yelle Suffers Injury to Upper Body, Dignity

In the course of the season, you expect to deal with injuries -- but not like this. Stephane Yelle collided with linesman Mark Shewchyk during the second period of Monday night's game against Tampa, and let's be honest... he made Shewchyk look like the second coming of Scott Stevens.

Yelle is currently questionable for tonight's game in Washington, as he seems to have triggered muscle spasms in his ribs. First reports suggested he might be out for weeks, but the diagnosis has lightened and it looks like Yelle will be back in the lineup much sooner.

In the meantime the Bruins have recalled Czech pest Vladimir Sobotka from Providence on an emergency basis, with the intention of inserting him into Yelle's spot on the 4th line. Sobotka is not the most talented guy in the world, but he adds a healthy dose of sandpaper and has a knack for stirring the pot when the team needs a lift. More importantly, he has a legit NHL skill-set and Bruins fans have been waiting for him to get another shot at life in the big league.

Sobotka seems unsure whether he'll play tonight; I would assume Julien would play it safe with Yelle tonight and give Vlad the nod. That being the case, the Bruins PK unit would be shaken up slightly against the conference's third-best PP unit... which could have a significant effect on the outcome of this important game.

But it's not all bad news for Sobotka if he gets sent back down -- Friday night is Sobotka Bobblehead Night in Providence.

Lightning Get A Kick In The Nuts From Bruins, Melrose, Their Own Goalie

What a day to be associated with the Tampa Bay Lightning.

First, Radim Vrbata leaves town after more or less saying that his career with the Lightning is causing him psychological distress.

Then, Barry Melrose publicly excoriates everyone from Len Barrie to Steve Stamkos. This guy is pissed about being a scapegoat, and is not afraid to say so. Furthermore he is a media professional, and therefore knows what to say if he wants to make headlines without setting off lawsuits or suspensions (Sean Avery, are you listening?).

Then, Vinny Lecavalier is forced to "lead" his team while sporting a first-class shiner on his left eye... courtesy of the notorious brawler Jochen Hecht. For the record, Hecht gave up 3 inches and 20 pounds in that matchup. He has had 4 fights in his 8 seasons, compared to Lecavalier's 18 fights in 9 seasons. Nice, Vinny.

Then, the Lightning get absolutely whipped by the Bruins. Yes, it was a 1-goal game with 17 seconds left. But the game confirmed that the Lightning are no longer a competitive team -- they looked timid, confused, psychologically broken. They are in a doormat death-spiral, when they ought to have been jostling for playoff positioning by now. If not for the Bruins' blink-of-an-eye 3-0 lead, which pretty much sucked the energy out of the contest, Boston might have won this game by 6 or 7 goals.

To top it off, goalie Mike Smith ripped his teammates after the game... offering the possibility that they might just be a "dumb team". Meanwhile, on the other side of the locker room, Rick Tocchet suggested he might dress only 8 skaters in the future. This is all eerily reminiscent of the Dallas Stars' locker-room implosion after they faced the Bruins last month... is Claude Julien using psychological warfare to crush the spirits of his opponents? Stay tuned.

What does all of this mean for the rest of us? First of all, it confirms that playoff berths must be earned, not bought. Tampa seems to have even less chemistry than last year's Sens and this year's Stars. Turns out there's a difference between building a Stanley Cup champion and casting for a bad horror flick.

But more importantly, it effectively takes the Lightning off the map for the rest of the season. It's inconceivable that, even given an entire season to try and turn things around, this team could get it together and make a run at the 8-seed. Sooooo... time to start thinking "fire sale" when you think of Tampa.

The Lightning have a slew of vets on contract for-this-year-only, including: Gary Roberts ($2.4m), Mark Recchi ($1.5m), Chris Gratton ($1.25m), Marek Malik ($1.25m), and Olie Kolzig ($2.5m). If this franchise has any common sense at all, it will unload all of the above before the trade deadline for draft picks and prospects. This would clear a large amount of cap space and allow Tampa to begin a true rebuild -- presumably with another #1 pick this summer.

But, like a star dying, a Lightning implosion/rebuild might affect the entire solar system. Roberts and Recchi could offer veteran leadership for young contenders like Boston and Chicago. Kolzig might conjure up one last run at glory for a desperate bubble team like Edmonton or New Jersey. Chris Gratton is as adept as anyone in the league at filling a jersey and collecting a paycheck, but might be willing to chip in some secondary scoring if asked nicely.

[update: Never mind about Gratton. He was placed on waivers, a pretty sure sign that he no longer carries trade value.]

Keep an eye on these guys as we get closer to the deadline... it's not like they've been afraid to pull the trigger in the past.

Bruins vs. Panthers: Stuff To Look Out For

Continuing the Sunshine State road trip, the Bruins head to the NHL's southernmost destination for a rematch with the Panthers. Last time these teams met in Boston, with the Bruins winnig 4-2. The highlight of the game was when Nick Boynton dropped the gloves with Lucic and got a little, uh, fucked up.


Things to keep an eye on tonight:

M.A.S.H. Unit: It's that time of year when you can't really avoid minor injuries any longer. The Bruins will be missing Andrew Ference and Aaron Ward tonight, and Dennis Wideman is still questionable. That means the Providence Bruins will be supplying half of our defensemen: budding star Matt Hunwick, average reserve Matt Lashoff, and Johnny Boychuk (who, judging by his name, is a comic book sidekick in his spare time).

But far be it from us to complain. The Panthers are the poster children for crippling injuries. They will enter tonight without the following forwards:
David Booth (top goal scorer with 12. twice as many as the next guy)
Nathan Horton (4th on the team in points with 13, right behind Booth's 14)
Cory Stillman (near the top of the team in +/- when he was injured)
Richard Zednik
Rotislav Olesz

Ouch. It goes without saying that both teams will have to deal with personnel issues in this game.

Better than you think they are: Not to put too fine a point on it, but Florida sucks almost every year. Like the Isles, they are the kind of team you can get used to thinking of as a doormat.

But the Panthers really aren't that bad. Currently they're tied with Buffalo for the 9th spot in the conference, only 1 point out of the playoff bracket. They've beaten the Sharks, Ducks, Caps and Rangers (a 4-0 curb-stomping last week) and played close games against Montreal and Detroit. This is all counter-intuitive and based mostly on the otherworldly goaltending of Craig Anderson, who is the only guy in the league who can challenge Tim Thomas' stats this season. He starts tonight, so be on the lookout for a goalie-driven performance by the Panthers.

Speaking of goalies: Manny Fernandez starts tonight. Manny is doing everything in his power to keep from being relegated to a true "backup" status. He's won 6 straight including 1-goal showings against Detroit and Montreal. The Bruins play well in front of him and he's incredibly re-established himself as a 1A next to a guy who has every right to win the Vezina.

Look out for: Expect Jay Bouwmeester to have an impact. Incredibly, it took the guy 21 games to score his first goal in the biggest season of his career (in the sense that he's being shopped openly to other teams). In their 5 games since, he's scored 7 points as the Panthers have gone 3-0-2. Considering their massive injury issues they're facing to their forward core, it's highly likely that this guy will have the puck on his stick at every possible opportunity.

Letdown game: Ok, I've made this prediction a few times lately... but this time I feel pretty sure about it. It is highly improbable that the Bruins will continue to win games at the pace they've been going lately. There has to be a stop eventually, and this game represents a likely chance for it to happen. Road game with injury issues in front of a small crowd against a team that's got no reputation but isn't half bad and has a phenomenal goaltender. It's gotta happen tonight, right?

Other previews:
Cornelius Hardenbergh
Stanley Cup of Chowder
Kynch's Bruins Korner
Cat Scratch (Panthers)

Bruins vs. Lightning: Stuff To Look Out For

Begin Step 5 of the Bruins schedule, otherwise known as "Bruins vs. the Southeast Division". The upcoming schedule reads: Lightning, Panthers, Lightning, Caps, Thrashers, Thrashers, (Leafs), Hurricanes. 14 points on the line against some of the East's most tepid opposition... this will be critical to any conference championship hopes that may have started to glimmer for the B's. It begins tonight with a road game against the imploding Lightning.


Some storylines to follow:

- Coaching disaster: Let's face it, Barry Melrose took a huge bullet for the Lightning front office when he was fired. Coming into the season, all the buzz around the Lightning concerned the risky moves they had made by reinventing the roster practically overnight and hiring a 15-year studio analyst as head coach. To say the least, a weak start was written on the wall -- the hope was that they'd gel by Christmas and be a playoff dark-horse.

So much for the plan. At the time Melrose was fired, the 'Ning were 5-7-4, but playing .500 hockey after a slow start. Under Rick Tocchet, they've gone 1-3-4. Whoops. Changing coaches doesn't change the fundamental need for a team to become cohesive over time. Melrose did a decent job with the roster he was given, which was ultimately not a team of his own design anyway. Now the Lightning are simply a mess, and saddled with loads of veteran players who will need to be dumped before season's end. Finger-pointing, begin!

- Minor league affiliate: To make matters worse, Tampa's ECHL farm team (the late Augusta Lynx) folded this week, creating a scheduling nightmare for the surviving franchises.


- Overtime: The Bruins have never lost to the Lightning in overtime, in 15 games. Meanwhile the Lightning lead the league in OT/SO losses this season. Of course, all trends must come to an end...

- Injuries and replacements: Boston is hitting the midseason doldrums, losing depth players nearly every game to injury. The latest casualty was Aaron Ward, out with a "lower body injury" (looked like a hip flexor to me). Marco Sturm is still out with a concussion. Tim Thomas will start in net, but is recovering from a brief illness. Defensemen Matt Lashoff and Johnny Boychuk (great hockey name!) were recalled from Providence -- expect Lashoff to get the first opportunity to play, with Boychuk as a scratch. Lashoff will probably not be the next Matt Hunwick, but he is a decent depth blueliner.

Meanwhile the Lightning are dealing with numerous injuries to vets like Gary Roberts, Jeff Halpern and Chris Gratton. According to the Tampa Tribune, expect mediocre center Ryan Craig to return to the lineup after being a healthy scratch. Mike Lundin and Evgeny Artyukhin will not play for the Lightning, and Matt Smaby has been recalled to play tonight. I have no idea who any of these people are...

Basically, it's easy points on the line for Boston. The Lightning and Panthers are on the skids and quite vulnerable to a strong offensive attack. You simply cannot lose games like this, if you want to be considered "elite". In 3 games against Tampa and Florida, the Bruins should shoot for 5-6 points. Anything less and we're looking at a harsh stumble going into the holiday schedule.

Sean Avery Is A Stain On The Compression Shorts Of The NHL

I don't really need to introduce the topic, because you've already been thinking about it for the past 24 hours. So let's just skip all the chit-chat and get down to business.

Sean Avery's indefinite suspension is absolutely, unequivocally the correct judgment by Gary Bettman.

Yeah, I said it. Bettman got one right. And you know what? I will still respect myself in the morning.

There's been an opinion-flood of Biblical proportions in the blogosphere as everyone dogpiles onto this topic. So I'm just going to go through and cherry-pick a few arguments that I ain't buyin', and then explain my stance at the bottom of the post. If you don't care what others have to say on the topic, because I am your sole and unquestioned authority on world affairs, feel free to skip to the bottom now.

Still with me? Ok, let's get started.

Hockey guru PuckDaddy sez:
In the end, suspending Avery proves Avery correct that this League is disinterested in creating a compelling product to which fans want to pay attention.

Which "fans" are we talking about? Is a 6-year-old Stars fan going to become more engaged, or less, with his team based on this incident? To be certain, the Sportscenter/American-Mainstream-Media crowd will suddenly become more interested in our little niche sport if there are a bunch of smack-talking sideshows involved. The Calgary/Dallas game will surely have a larger contingent of shitfaced meatheads cheering for blood.

But frankly I think the NHL can do a little better than selling that type of product.

The Forechecker chips in:
If Avery gets more than a single game suspension out of this, the NHLPA should call the league out on the carpet for prioritizing PR above player safety.

Undoubtedly so, and this should be a major talking point in the disciplinary reform that the league needs so badly. Nevertheless, as far as we know at this time Avery will get only a single game suspension. "Indefinitely" in this case translates to "until we can review and make a decision".

Going Five Hole writes:
Sometimes you need a little controversy to intrigue the casual fan and even the hardcore fan at times.

Brett Hull's toe in the crease is a controversy. The instigator penalty is a controversy. But this conversation is not about a controversy, because it is a clear case of right and wrong -- there is no rational way to argue that Avery should be allowed to hold press conferences in order to launch slurs at another player's girlfriend without the league intervening. The question in this case is simply the degree of punishment.

Interchangeable Parts:
You can get suspended in the NHL for saying “sloppy seconds”? And they call the NFL the “no fun league”.

Prior to this incident, the hot topic in the hockeyblogosphere was a spat between fans of the NBA and NHL over which currently has the most fan support. The thrust of that argument was that the NBA has seen a sharp dropoff in support compared to the NHL's gains -- largely driven by the emergence of respectable young stars like Crosby and Kane in the NHL, at the same time the NBA is trying to rein in petulant prima donnas like Iverson and Marbury.

So I have a very hard time believing that the NHL would be wise to put itself in line with other pro leagues by turning its media into a sounding chamber for overpaid, underperforming players to stir up self-serving scandals. Leave that "fun" to other sports.

Puckupdate:
Is that term any more offensive than Michael Nylander dropping the s-bomb on national TV in the middle of the day? Or are we supposed to believe the NHL is suddenly concerned about players portraying women as possessions?

This misses the point entirely. The slur alone is one thing -- we have already seen Avery do worse by calling Georges Laraque a "monkey", not to mention his Franco-phobic comments about Denis Gauthier. The issue here isn't only what was said, but the deliberate and contrived way in which it was delivered. There's a big difference between an ad lib and a prepared statement.

Battle of California thoughtfully considers:
I think it's a dangerous path to discourage personality in front of the microphone without any specific guidelines, and we're probably in for a blander NHL as a result (though in fairness, we were probably in for that anyway).

While I agree that specific guidelines would be welcome, we'd be underestimating the players' intelligence to suggest that they don't understand the notion of "detrimental to the league". I would much rather see the league take the dangerous path of discouraging Avery's behavior, at the risk of becoming too bland, than take the even more dangerous path of letting it go unchecked by the commissioner, and therefore become a media circus with egotists like Avery as the ringleaders.

My thoughts on how Bettman got it right:

For starters, the league had to step in and keep Avery off the ice last night. There are two overwhelmingly strong arguments for doing so:

1) Under no circumstances can a player exploit the media for nefarious purposes without a league response. This is even more important when insulting a member of the general public, as opposed to simply calling out a fellow player, because it opens up all sorts of legal issues. Regardless of what the Stars may choose to do internally, it's imperative that the league keep a tight rein on this sort of situation.

2) There was no reason for the league to reward Avery by allowing him to drag Phaneuf (and, let us not forget, Iginla) into a potential game-misconduct situation. Imagine if Phaneuf had chased Avery to his locker room Mair-style... that would put the league in an absurd situation when trying to decide on appropriate suspensions. Considering Phaneuf and Iginla are the pillars of Calgary's playoff hopes, putting Avery on the ice could have put Calgary in a position to sink their entire season while pursuing personal vendettas. That would be unacceptable.

Bettman has to look at the big picture when making these decisions. In this case, the personal rivalry between Phaneuf and Avery is part of the little picture. Even Avery's personal history, which certainly weighs in on the subject, is little-picture material.

The big picture is that we've got a case of a player undermining the league itself. Avery knew what rules he was breaking when he decided to hold his "press conference", and knew that suspension was likely. He took a calculated gamble that the suspension would be short and that the media fallout would be worth his while. The NHL must call that sort of bluff, or risk losing its authority over its own players. If you don't think it can happen in the blink of an eye, take a look at Terrell Owens or Allen Iverson... putting on kid-gloves with these egomaniacs simply doesn't work.

If Bettman delegates Avery's discipline to the Stars, if he provides nothing but a passive shrug of the shoulders and wiping of the hands, we would see the floodgates open wide with Avery-type players. Every cellar-dwelling team with nothing to lose would have to deal with this sort of unprofessional, undisciplined misconduct from its Roenicks and Hulls. Bettman sent a clear message to not only Avery but the rest of the players in the league -- you are here to play good hockey, represent your franchise as a professional, and sell tickets. If you want to be a media sideshow, start practicing your layups.