Princess Leia = Stanley Cup
Ooh, purty! Losta guys are gonna fight over this little lady, and more than a few are going to sneak a kiss before it's all over. Careful boys, she's been for a few skates around the rink already...
The Messiah, the Anointed One, the whiny brat who thinks he's a great leader at age 20.
Don't fuck with this guy. He will own you.
He might not get all the publicity, but he's the guy you really wanted to be when you grew up. At the end of the day, you can thank this cool cat for blasting Vader's ass and gifting the Golden Child his moment of glory.
We're never offered a good explanation for putting this guy in such a position of authority. His primary role is to stand by the sidelines and figure out a way to beat the trap.
Don't bother adjusting your matchups or changing your strategy. He's already foreseen your moves and countered them in advance. Now he's going to make you watch as he destroys your pitiful band of rebels.
Go away, nobody likes you.
Mike Milbury = Gamorrean Guard
He doesn't let his lack of intelligence or speaking ability get in the way of his duties. Best not to leave him in charge of anything really important, such as guarding a prisoner or running an NHL franchise.
Bib Fortuna = Mike Emrick
Spends most of his time avoiding criticism of the boss-man. Is anyone else distracted by the shape of his head?
The bounty hunter knows no allegiances.
A legend in his own time, he now gazes from above and offers quiet words of wisdom to his protegee'.
Somehow, you have a faint inkling that the story is really not about the Golden Boy at all, but about this little spare part who always seems to show up at the right moment and save the superstars' asses.
As if the Empire needed this guy on top of everything else they've got going for them. It's not even fair.
You knew as soon as you saw this guy that he wouldn't be around for long.