Friday, August 14, 2009

Hockey Hell Voting: The Left Wings

Congrats are in order to Bobby Clarke, who won a landslide election into Hockey Hell this week. Dale Hunter put up a respectable showing in second place, and Ken Linseman finished a distant third. With that, we move on to the Left Wing position, and the four candidates listed below.

Be sure to take a good look at each candidate as this is an especially competitve category. If nothing else, click the hyperlinks which almost all point toward a Youtube vid or archived news article worth seeing. Click here for an explanation of the Hockey Hell series. Voting for the LW position ends next Friday!

Tie Domi, Toronto Maple Leafs/New York Rangers

- An impressive set of records: Third-highest PIM total in league history... Leads the Maple Leafs in career PIMs... Broke Tiger Williams' record for most PIMs in a season by a Leaf.

- Once arrived to the rink halfway through a game, having stayed at his hotel to voice his displeasure at being benched.

- Sucker-punched Ulf Samuelsson. (This might actually count as a positive.)

- Egregiously cheapshotted Scott Niedermayer, knocking him out cold with an elbow to the head during the '01 playoffs. Instead of apologizing, he sought sympathy in a blubbering press conference.

- Played two exhibition games as a placekicker for the Toronto Argonauts in the CFL -- the lamest imaginable sport-to-sport crossover.

- Has a brother named Dash, who was once involved in some seedy government dealings. Tie and Dash Domi... really. What is this, an episode of Pokemon?

- Suspended for 6 games for an AHL pregame fight.

- Was involved in this ugly incident in 1999, a rare but shameful example of Domi letting his teammates fight his battles.

- Inconceivably, he racked up 42 PIM while dressing in only two games in 1989.

- In 1997-98, he scored only 4 goals while racking up a breathtaking 365 PIM. He scored roughly one goal for every 7 fights.

- Threatened with banishment from his 11-year-old son's hockey league after verbally abusing the coach. The situation escalated to the point that Domi threatened to sue the coach in retaliation.

Jarkko Ruutu, Vancouver Canucks/Pittsburgh Penguins/Ottawa Senators

- Bit Andrew Peters on the thumb during a fight, then denied it, then claimed that it was Peters' fault for sticking his fingers in Ruutu's mouth.

- Was on the receiving end of Chris Simon's notorious skate-stomp. And he probably deserved it.

- Finished 3rd in an SI poll to determine the league's dirtiest players -- only a point behind Chris Pronger and Steve Ott.

- A notorious diver, who usually agitates another player and then hits the deck on first contact

- Despite a memorable performance on the scoresheet, his diving during the IIHF championships was the subject of international mockery.

- Also a notorious chatterbox, in the mold of fellow Finn Esa Tikkanen.

- Has committed as many ridiculous acts of violence in international competition as he has in the NHL.

- Picks his spots when fighting. For example, he jumped an injured Milan Lucic at the end of a long shift, and got a set of bruised ribs for his trouble.

Dave Schultz, Philadelphia Flyers/Los Angeles Kings/Pittsburgh Penguins/Buffalo Sabres

- Nicknamed "The Hammer".

- Was the most violent member of the Broad Street Bullies teams in Philadelphia, pairing with Bobby Clarke and Dave Williams to round out the dirtiest lineup of all time.

- Enabled Clarke's cheapshottery by providing cover for him when enforcers came calling. Common wisdom has it that Clarke was only able to survive his playing career because of Schultz's presence during line brawls.

- Brought a back-alley style of fighting to the ice. Schultz frequently pulled hair, gouged eyes, bit, scratched and otherwise maimed opponents.

- Nearly broke the unthinkable 500-PIM barrier, setting a league record with 472 in 1974-75.

- Originated the "Schultz Rule", which bans boxing wraps on the wrists of players who fight.

- Nearly sparked a melee at Nassau Coliseum in 1974, headbutting the Islanders' Gary Howatt along the glass and then reaching over to provoke an unruly NY crowd.

- In Game 7 of the 1974 semi-finals, Schultz jumped Rangers defenseman Dale Rolfe and pounded him mercilessly, pulling his hair and punching him repeatedly with little opposition. Rolfe registered all of 56 PIM that season, to Schultz's 348. The Flyers won the game and the series.

- In 1975, he recorded the song "Penalty Box".

- Despite a solitary 20-goal season, Schultz brought little hockey skill to the table. He bounced around the league as a role player in the late 70s and early 80s, never playing two full seasons for the same team. He washed out of the league in 1980, ignominiously retiring in the AHL.

- Bit Leafs enforcer Kurt Walker on the nose.

- Sucker-punched Vancouver rookie John Vanboxmer, knocking him out cold...

- ... and then signed photos of the incident...

- ... even though he was schooled by Hall of Famer Larry Robinson only moments later.

- On his own website, the only clips from his playing days are of brutal fights including the Rolfe mugging.

- Stars in one of the league's most notoriously violent photographs.

Darcy Tucker, Montreal Canadiens/Tampa Bay Lightning/Toronto Maple Leafs/Colorado Avalanche

- Toronto media nickname = Sideshow Bob

- A notorious diver and whiner.

- Took out Jochen Hecht's knees. Are you sensing a pattern?

- Brother-in-law to Shayne Corson, who is no stranger to the suspension list.

- Pounded by Jarkko Ruutu in one of the all-time great d-bag showdowns.

- Mugged, and then mocked, Patrick Eaves who had never dropped the gloves before... after the latter laid him out on a clean check.

- No. 7 on's list of all-time NHL villains, ahead of Todd Bertuzzi and Bobby Clarke.

- Frequently refuses to answer the bell when challenged to a fight. Never was this more evident than when he repeatedly dodged Chris Neil of the Sens.
- He was both a Hab and a Leaf.

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Nuuuuugs said...

Thanks for making this damn near impossible.

Tom said...

All the credit goes to the four assholes above :)

Anonymous said...

While as big a douche as he was and still is, Tucker's hit on Sami Kapanen was pretty epic.

Pezell said...

god damn, I never realized how much I hate Ruutu

CS said...

Domi was a RW, just so you know...